


Gone

by JJ1564



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Double Drabble, Episode Related, Gen, Mother-Son Relationship, Sad Dean, Season/Series 12, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8403358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJ1564/pseuds/JJ1564
Summary: A drabble giving my take on how Dean feels at the end of S12.03.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please beware SPOILERS for episode 12.03.

Part One 

She left. She's gone.

Didn’t take long for me to disappoint her.

I’m not the Dean she remembers - I’m not the Dean she loves.

There’s so much I want to say to her, so much she needs to know but it kinda all gets stuck somewhere between my heart and my mouth. Guess I left it too late.

Sam says she just needs space, she’s gonna be back. I wish I was so sure.

Amara gave me what I needed most – but it seems I’m not what Mom needs.

It’s okay, I’m used to people leaving.

Part Two

Now that douchebag Zachariah’s words are stuck in my head; I know it wasn’t Mom, but it still fucking hurts.

“I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you…  
Everybody leaves you, Dean. You noticed? Mommy. Daddy. Even Sam.  
You ever ask yourself why? Maybe it’s not them. Maybe, it’s you.”

Yeah, everyone leaves except Sam and Cas - they’re stuck with me.

Sam’s tried leaving but he knows I’m so fucking pathetic I can’t live without him. He stays out of pity, duty…not because he wants to. I know I’m poison.

Hell, I’d leave me if I could.


End file.
